Can I Accept Your Imperfections?

Hello Readers!!!

It is always a pleasure to enlighten you all. This weeks message is about giving people permission to make mistakes.

All week I have been hearing people speak on this topic. I am a huge fan of Dr. Phil and he has a segment on his show called Dr. Phil's Real Housewives, and all of the women have different issues. Really very interesting and quite entertaining as well. The thing on one of his past episodes that caught my eye was the following quote (you may have to read it twice just so that it can sink in)

"How much we trust others is directly proportionate to how much we trust ourselves and our ability to handle there imperfections" - Dr. Phil

Why is that when we make mistakes it's just water under the bridge...and we tend to say things like "I'm only human" and "it is what it is". Yet when are loved ones or those that we come in contact with make a mistake sometimes it turns into World War 3. I'm going to be honest, that quote makes alot of sense because for me trusting others was always a hard concept for me to grasp. I truly believe that your level of trust is the root cause of a lot of  issues that people face. Sometimes we don't trust the people we should and more often than not we aren't trusting ourselves when we should. I'm going to stay on that topic for a minute. When you trust yourself you begin to develop confidence in who you are and what you stand for.

Too many people are walking around easily influenced because they don't trust themselves enough to develop their own opinion. I was always the type that would rather agree with others just so that I could avoid confrontation, and I was willing to sacrifice my opinion because of that. I did this for quite some time until I started to trust myself more and trust my ability to stand up for something that I believed in. Now I don't throw my opinion around because I like to always remain neutral and objective to a degree, however when the opportunity presents itself you better believe I'm going to speak my mind about the things that I care about.

Moving on, trusting others is not any easy task either because...oh no here it comes the "v" word.......when you trust others there is a level of vulnerability that must be displayed. To me being vulnerable always meant that you were weak. I grew up around very strong women. Women so strong I never thought that anything could penetrate there tough exterior. But as I grow older I realized that vulnerablilty is also a sign of humility, which in turn is the kryptonite for pride - we will discuss the topic of pride in a later blog. This is a big topic to tackle.

So in order to bring us back to the topic at hand, I ask this question:

What is your tolerance level for imperfection? What will it take for you to be able to give others permission to be imperfect... to be human..to have flaws...to have a bad day...think about it.

We have to put less focus on what others do and more focus on how we respond. Here are some steps that can help you out with your relationships, whether it be loved ones or co-workers, from one of my favorite books entitled: The 100/0 Principle By: Al Ritter.

Step 1: Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

Step 2: Do not expect anything in return, Zero, zip, nada.



Step 3: Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.

Step 4: Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

Now that you have been Enlightened... Go and Enlighten some one else!

~Na'Tasha Nicole