Its Time for a Confrontation.....With Yourself

Hello readers! It gives me such joy to be able to write to you each week. Typically my topics are based on challenges that I've faced throughout the week as well as ways that I have been inspired and this week is no different.
Let's Go!

Believing in yourself is vital.

This week I want to talk to you about self confidence and believing in yourself. Can I get real with you guys today? I as well as many others have struggled with this concept for years, and I'm at the point where enough is enough. I am an avid reader and I am always looking for information that can not only help myself but others as well. However, this time a book or quote couldn't help me. Not to say that books aren't helpful and encouraging because they are trust me I have several books about believing in yourself and the whole confidence bit as well. But like I said, this go round was a lot different. I had to literally fight with myself. Now readers this isn't a bad thing there comes a time when you start to get on your own nerves about things that you need to change or develop in your life and enough is enough, and a confrontation with yourself is long over due. So as I sat in my car in the walmart parking lot I was literally telling myself a thing or two. Now I am not crazy or insane but I will say that, that confrontation woke me up inside. Let me explain, its one thing to know something, and to know how to carry it out but it's a whole other ball game when you have to put some action to your words and when the rubber hits the road will you sink or swim? I felt like I had been sinking for too long...living with too many insecurities and baggage from the past. So I tell you today that you don't have to be in bondage to people and there views because you will then become a people pleaser. Anyway, like I said it's one thing to know something...but action is a different ball game. I know all about this stuff I read about it everyday I talk to people about it everyday but why is that the sting of other peoples comments and perceptions still leave us wounded? Why is it that rejection in any form still leaves us bruised? I heard somewhere that if we are "touchy" other peoples comments and reactions and perceptions can be taken to the highest degree. What I mean by touchy is that a person's skin is sun burned severely and any response contrary to what that individual wants to hear is like someone poking your sun burned skin...ouchhhhhh hence the word "touchy" was born. But anyway, I will go into more detail on this subject in later blogs.

Believing in yourself means that you can look at yourself in the mirror and you can honestly say that you are ok with who you are flaws and all. This goes for outward as well as the inward appearance because it is two fold. You can not be satisfied with your outer appearance and not be satisfied with your inner appearance there is no balance here. I'm sure plenty of you out there myself included can attest to feeling out of balance in this area at various points in our lives. With that being said it's quote time!!!! I read the following excerpt in the book called "Believe that You Can" I have made mention of this book in previous blogs.. Here it is:

"Right before you were created there was one little sperm among millions of them all racing to become YOU. Millions of them were swimming trying to get to that egg, and YOU won. This makes you one in a million! You're a winner, not an accident"

How awesome is that! I got so excited when I read that for the first time it almost brought tears to my eyes because it was so simple yet so profound to know that I was a winner before I could even walk or talk. So, that just made my confidence level shoot through the roof. Sometimes you have to confront yourself and say "Who cares what people think, do, and say" you don't have to impress anyone. Be ok with who you are accept yourself flaws and all because you are a winner!

Please know and understand how important and valuable you are. You are truly special and unique. Whether you choose to believe it or not someone is counting on you to be the best that you can be. Think about the legacy that you will leave behind. What kind of person do you want to be known as? Someone who was always afraid to take chances and risk and stuck in bondage to the opinions of others, or someone that was always fearless, courageous and bold. This last quote opened my eyes to the true definition of what courage means:

"Courage is being the only one who knows that you are afraid"

To me this quote says that feeling fear is a natural part of life, however choosing to step out and take risks and doing things that are deemed unpopular means that your courageous enough to do it afraid!

So I challenge you today, what is it that has been holding you back from achieving your dreams and goals? Take the necessary action and step out and do the things that you want to do and don't worry about what other people may think or say. Don't forget to use balance and plain old common sense now : )

As always it has been a pleasure!

Now that you have been enlightened...go and enlighten someone else!

Can I Accept Your Imperfections?

Hello Readers!!!

It is always a pleasure to enlighten you all. This weeks message is about giving people permission to make mistakes.

All week I have been hearing people speak on this topic. I am a huge fan of Dr. Phil and he has a segment on his show called Dr. Phil's Real Housewives, and all of the women have different issues. Really very interesting and quite entertaining as well. The thing on one of his past episodes that caught my eye was the following quote (you may have to read it twice just so that it can sink in)

"How much we trust others is directly proportionate to how much we trust ourselves and our ability to handle there imperfections" - Dr. Phil

Why is that when we make mistakes it's just water under the bridge...and we tend to say things like "I'm only human" and "it is what it is". Yet when are loved ones or those that we come in contact with make a mistake sometimes it turns into World War 3. I'm going to be honest, that quote makes alot of sense because for me trusting others was always a hard concept for me to grasp. I truly believe that your level of trust is the root cause of a lot of  issues that people face. Sometimes we don't trust the people we should and more often than not we aren't trusting ourselves when we should. I'm going to stay on that topic for a minute. When you trust yourself you begin to develop confidence in who you are and what you stand for.

Too many people are walking around easily influenced because they don't trust themselves enough to develop their own opinion. I was always the type that would rather agree with others just so that I could avoid confrontation, and I was willing to sacrifice my opinion because of that. I did this for quite some time until I started to trust myself more and trust my ability to stand up for something that I believed in. Now I don't throw my opinion around because I like to always remain neutral and objective to a degree, however when the opportunity presents itself you better believe I'm going to speak my mind about the things that I care about.

Moving on, trusting others is not any easy task either because...oh no here it comes the "v" word.......when you trust others there is a level of vulnerability that must be displayed. To me being vulnerable always meant that you were weak. I grew up around very strong women. Women so strong I never thought that anything could penetrate there tough exterior. But as I grow older I realized that vulnerablilty is also a sign of humility, which in turn is the kryptonite for pride - we will discuss the topic of pride in a later blog. This is a big topic to tackle.

So in order to bring us back to the topic at hand, I ask this question:

What is your tolerance level for imperfection? What will it take for you to be able to give others permission to be imperfect... to be human..to have flaws...to have a bad day...think about it.

We have to put less focus on what others do and more focus on how we respond. Here are some steps that can help you out with your relationships, whether it be loved ones or co-workers, from one of my favorite books entitled: The 100/0 Principle By: Al Ritter.

Step 1: Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

Step 2: Do not expect anything in return, Zero, zip, nada.



Step 3: Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.

Step 4: Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

Now that you have been Enlightened... Go and Enlighten some one else!

~Na'Tasha Nicole

To Complain or Not to Complain...That is the Question

Where has complaining every gotten anyone?

I was thinking and thinking about what I should blog about this week and oddly enough people all around me have been murmuring and complaining about things that they can not change and things that are out of their control.

For instance, the gas prices have been continuing to escalate and people have begun to voice their opinions. Ok first of all I say this in love... But there is a big difference in venting about something and just flat out complaining about it. So, for those people that get sooo frustrated about these high gas price I'm going to say what my mother told me...either start riding a bike or go protest at the White House or just be patient and pump your gas. At the end of the day you have to get to work. Instead of complaining about it, I just found an alternative way to get to work. I work downtown so the traffic is always congested when I drive in...so I started to ride the commuter bus. It is perfect the park and ride location is not very far from my house and the parking lot is patrolled 24hrs a day by the county police department. I get to work including the stops in roughly 35mins. Thank God for the HOV lane!!!!

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit"


The point that I am trying to make in this blog is that why should we spend energy working ourselves up over things that we can not control. Instead of complaining, vent so that you can get it out of your system..to one person by the way you should not be venting to whoever will listen and your friends probably need a break anyway : ) So, now that you have vented and got it out of your system now it's time to evaluate your situation and strategize, although you can't change people or circumstances in some cases...this is an opportunity for you to figure out what you can do on your end. If you can't figure it out on your own google it! The Internet is a wealth of knowledge, however talking to people about your situation can help as well....but only to seek advice this is not your chance to vent again...we did that already remember. Come on guys stay with me...I just don't want you to be the one people like to avoid when they see you coming. Complaining people are sooo draining trust me I know I have been on the receiving side as well as the giving side. I had my fair share of murmuring and complaining, and I'm not going to lie and say that I won't do it again. But I will say that I try really hard to make sure that I watch the things that I say and try not to keep repeating the same stuff over and over again because as I have learned here lately, it doesn't get you anywhere.

There was a situation that I had recently that really bothered me I mean it really rubbed me the wrong way and I kept talking about and talking about it and I didn't realize that everytime I talked about it, I was continuing to give that situation life. The more I talked about it...the more frustrated I got it. Until finally I said enough is enough I don't want to think about this or talk about this anymore because that situation was taking me away from my everyday life it began to consume my thoughts and I needed to be released...so once I decided that I was thru talking about old news from the past that had nothing to do with my future I started to replace those old thoughts with new thoughts until that thing was truly a figment of my imagination. Try it, it really works.

I will end with a quote:

"No one can make you happy, happiness is a response that you choose"

When your complaining you can't be happy at the same time, your brain can't function that way. Your body is not equipped to handle both of those emotions. So, I beg all of my readers to make the choice to be happy. Don't wait on someone else to make you happy. Don't wait on your job to make you happy. Like the quote says happiness is a decision.

Choose wisely my dear readers, please please choose wisely.
Challenge: Try your best to eliminate negative thinking.

Na'Tasha Nicole~

Smile As If Your Life Depends On It

Smiling is a very vital aspect to your daily life. People don't realize how important smiling is and most take it for granted. A simple smile can brighten the darkest of days. Quote time!!!


"A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside." ~Denis Waitely

You never know what other people maybe going through, they maybe smiling on the outside but crying on the inside.

I think as human beings, it is our civic duty to care more than we do. I know that life can get really hard sometimes and it may become difficult to see through the fog of our daily cares ie: family, work, school, bills etc. However, we have to make the extra effort to listen a little harder, hug a little longer and most importantly smile as often as possible. Smiling doesn't only benefit the receiver it also makes you feel good. I know when I am doing my most genuine smile it feels like my heart is smiling too and I stop and think about how much harder other peoples lives are. There are so many people in this world that are less fortunate than others. We can't be so focused on our on world and our own problems that we fail to just be thankful for where we are in life.

When life gives you that swift kick in the butt...and for some it may feel like a black eye and some bruised ribs...it gets like that sometimes lol, but when those days come you have to smile to keep from crying sometimes. Trust me it works. They say that laughter is good for the soul and I truly believe that. On my down days I love to watch comedic movies and sitcoms just to take my mind off of that dark rain cloud that sometimes lingers over my head. As soon as I start smiling and laughing at the funny show or movie, I begin to forget what I was complaining or sad about. Works like a charm : )


Moving right along, according to Mark Stibich, Ph.D.' s article on About.com, they list the top 10 reasons why smiling is so powerful. So, if you don't want to take my word for it, check out what the experts have to say:

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive

We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in (avoid these smile aging habits to keep your smile looking great).

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood

Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There's a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious

When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress

Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System

Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure

When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin

Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger

The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don't go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day -- you'll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful

Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It's hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that "Life is Good!" Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm

"Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available." ~ Jim Beggs

My ultimate goal is always to Enlighten, to Inspire, and to Encourage my readers. I truly hope that this posting has awakened an A-HA Epiphany Eureka moment within you. Smiling may seem trivial, but as you can see in this Top 10 list it is very powerful.

Challenge: Smile as often as you can. It may feel a little weird if this is a little unusual for you, but as people start to smile back, it will become contagious!

As I always say, Now that you have been Enlightened...go and Enlighten someone else!!




Na'Tasha Nicole